Are you stuck in an unhealthy relationship? Are you stuck in an unhealthy relationship?
Most of us deny the possibility that we may find ourselves in the middle of a toxic relationship. Afterall, we tend to portray our... Are you stuck in an unhealthy relationship?

Most of us deny the possibility that we may find ourselves in the middle of a toxic relationship. Afterall, we tend to portray our lovers in a good light.


However, in our defense, many people have mastered the art of disguise, as they hide their dark sides behind the loving act they put up. Such pretense is hard to identify until something drastic happens and you begin to question yourself and your relationship.


If you’re reading this, chances are that you’ve probably felt that something is amiss in your relationship. The following 5 signs can act as a rough gauge for you to determine whether you are in an unhealthy relationship. One or two of the signs may be present in every average relationship, but if you realize your situation resonates with three or more signs, it’s probably time to move on because you deserve better.


1. You feel like you’re not ‘good enough’


When you constantly feel inferior to your partner and think he/she deserves someone else better than you, you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Firstly, if this is occurring because you harbor tremendous respect for your other half, it’s high time you see him/her in a more realistic light. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, no one is perfect no matter how much you love him/her. However, if such feelings were invoked by your partner’s constant comparisons between you and some other individual (such as his/her ex-lover), it’s time you exercise some self-love and put an end to such damaging actions. Learn to love yourself before you love the other, because you are a unique individual and second to none.

2. “Sorry” is one of your most said words


Having enough consideration to apologise is not a bad thing, but repetitious apologies for things that weren’t your fault is a sign that you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Excessive apologising shows that you’re not at ease with your partner. You thread his/her boundaries with caution, and there are probably reasons for that. It’s either he/she has failed to make you feel secure in the relationship, or that you have witnessed your other half flare up and the ugly sight had traumatised you enough to see the need to tiptoe around him/her. In a healthy relationship, the word “sorry” should be rarely heard, because love means accepting and forgiving your other half unconditionally for things they have no control over.

3. You find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior to your friends and families


Onlookers have the best view. More often than not, our loved ones notice our unhappiness before we actually realize it ourselves. If your parents or friends start to question your relationship or the way your partner treats you, maybe it’s time you ask yourself whether you are happy in this relationship. By looking for excuses to defend your relationship or your partner’s behavior, you’re actually lying to yourself and denying the fact that something is not right in your relationship. Learn to accept your reality and situation, which will allow you to gain a clearer perspective of your relationship.

4. You no longer know who you are


Ask yourself this simple question – Were you a better person before this relationship? A healthy relationship is supposed to make you into a better person, in the sense that being loved by someone you love gives you more confidence and meaning in life. However, if you find that your self-esteem has plummetted and you are constantly anxious and irrational because of your relationship, it’s high time you leave.

5. Sex dominates your relationship


A healthy relationship requires emotional intimacy, affection, mutual efforts, strong communication, trust, engagement in addition to sexual intimacy. If your partner is not providing you with any of the above except sexual intimacy, this shows that there is no legit foundation for your love. Do not be coaxed into thinking that sexual engagements substitute all the other forms of affections.

Leaving a relationship is hard, especially when you really saw a future with your other half. But recognizing that you’re in an unhealthy relationship allows you to step out of it as soon as possible. Persisting in a toxic relationship does more harm than good for the both of you. Know what it is that you want, and have the courage to leave all the negativity behind.

Cover Image:

Iris Tan

Iris Tan

A cup of steaming hot tea, an engaging motivational book and a sleeping cat in her lap – these are what Iris envisions a purr-fect life would be. To be more precise, the cat’s got to be chubby and short. When she’s not wasting her time on the never ending streams of feline videos, Iris enjoys daydreaming and doodling in her bullet journal while she wonders about the endless possibilities life can bring.

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