In life, many things are inevitable. This includes the ending of a relationship. When a relationship dissolves, it’s normal to feel lost and empty. However, prolonging your stay in the post-breakup period does not do you any good.
While you wait patiently for your heart to recover, do yourself a favor by putting yourself out there in the world instead of cooping up at home to brood. Follow these steps to ensure you’re not missing out on life while your heart pieces itself together.
1. Release your pent up emotions
Because we are often taught to hold our emotions in, many people do not realize the importance of this first step. Bottling up emotions will only hide them away temporarily. However, the accumulation of these anger and sadness will only evolve in your heart and eventually eat into you.
Find a comfortable place to be alone. Accept and feel every emotion you’re experiencing. Cry, scream and grief as much as you want, until you’ve empty all the pent-up emotions in you. You’ll be surprised at how much relief you’ll gain from this.
2. Cut clean
Stop stalking him/her on social media. Don’t try to call or text him/her. Make no excuses for yourself to keep in contact with him/her. The interconnectedness of technology today is a dangerous tool for people who are trying to overcome a breakup. Unfollow him/her on social media platforms so you don’t have to see his/her updates appearing on your feed. Remove all the pictures taken with your ex off social media so you are no longer reminded of the past. In addition, the act of deleting photos also help to convey the message to your heart that the breakup has solidified and nothing will change no matter how dearly you hold on to the relationship.
3. Sweat it out
Head to the gym or join a Muaythai class. Exercising keeps your mind occupied, and the exertion of energy helps to release the feelings built up internally. In addition, working out empowers you as an individual, making you look and feel better.
4. Stop it with the self-blame
Repeat the sentence above as many times as you need. Each of us is unique and amazing in our own ways, just because one relationship failed to work out doesn’t mean you are a failure and should spend the rest of your life alone. Remind yourself of the many reasons why your family and friends love you so much. Ask them about it if you need to hear it from someone. Engage yourself in positive vibes by reading self-motivational books or hanging out with people who truly appreciate your presence. When you remind yourself of the significant value you hold in the lives of others, your depression will be alleviated.
5. You can choose to talk about it or not
Some people prefer to keep mum about their ex. If that’s the case, make sure you let the people close to you know that this topic is out of bound. The least you hear his/her name, the fewer chances you’re reminded of your relationship. If this doesn’t work for you, maybe what you need to do is to talk about it. Go to anyone that’s willing to listen and have your interest at heart. Let your words flow as you talk to them about all the things you’ve and are feeling. Talk about your ex to as many people as possible until even you’re sick of hearing about it. That’ll be a sign that you’ve made a progress in healing your heart.
6. Go back to the dating scene
This should come after your emotions have pretty much calmed down, and you find yourself in a stage of numbness whereby nothing actually makes big ripples in your heart. While you may not be completely ready to get romantically involved again, re-entering the dating scene allows you to meet new friends (or potential partners), and open you up to new discoveries. In addition, take comfort in the fact that this time round you have an even clearer idea of the kind of partners you are looking for!
Breakups can be hard and suffocating. However, the good news is that time will gradually alleviate all the pain and sadness without fail. Seek comfort in the fact that this is only a temporarily state to be in, and do your best to live better for yourself.
Cover Image: Timeout.com