We often feel confused when we realized something is wrong in our relationships. We are unsure how and when things started going downhill, and cannot identify the root cause of the problem(s). The truth is, the cause of a relationship breakdown is multifaceted. There are many involved variables that may have contributed to the spiraling of the bond you shared with him/her, and no one person can be blamed for the failure of a relationship.
Many times, couples fail to realize that their small habits or minor ignorance may have unconsciously accumulated and snowballed into bigger problems in a relationship. Identifying these undesirable behaviors may be the key to ensuring your relationship stays healthy and long-lasting.
1. Conflict Avoidance
Do you find yourself tolerating the nasty aspects in your relationship purely because you don’t want to end up in a fight with your other half? While you may think that this is the most peaceful way to sustain a relationship, the truth is that sometimes conflicts are necessary to propel your relationship forward. If something feels wrong, feel free and empowered to express your emotions to your other half. This helps him/her understand and see the issue from your point of view. Through effective communications, couples will be able to work things out together and compromise for each other. This also helps to reduce the stress between the both of you. Pent-up emotions will only make you stressed out and withdraw from your partner, worsening your relationship.
2. Bearing Grudges
Your partner may be the most perfect person you’ve ever met, but he/she is only human after all. People make mistakes which are sometimes impulsive and foolish. These mistakes may have caused you heartbreaks, or bring about a sense of betrayal. Give yourself some time to recover, and when you’re clear-headed enough, try to forgive and forget. Forgive not for your partner, but for yourself, because by letting go of these negative thoughts and feelings, you are setting yourself free and allowing yourself to be happy again. If you are still staying in the relationship, forgiving your partner helps to improve your relationship and allow both of you to move on from the issue. Make sure that your forgiveness is sincere, and after forgiving you do not continue to bear any grudges at all. On the other hand, forgiving does not mean you are obliged to stay on in the relationship, it means you’ve come to terms with the wrongs that have been done to you, and you’ve decided to let go of all these negativity for your own happiness.
Every relationship is unique in its own ways. Do not expect your relationship to progress the same way as others’. Comparison brings about discontentment, which drives the relationship downhill. Accept that the bond you share with your partner is special, and cannot be duplicated. Most importantly, do not compare your relationship with the ones you see on social media. Those lovey dovey instagram photos someone else posted may very well be a facade. While it may be easy to assume, we never know the struggles someone else may be going through in their relationships. By comparing ours to theirs, we are actually forgetting the fact that every relationship has its own problems.
4. Spending too much time together
If you find that you or your partner are burning out because of the relationship, it may be because you guys are spending too much time together. Being overly attached to each other may feel natural and affectionate, but everyone needs their alone time. Spending too much time together may reduce the value of moments you guys shared, which can affect the passion in your relationship. Give each other some space, and make sure to have a life of your own apart from the one you share with your partner. Solitude helps to improve relationships, and a little distance may be the key to a long-lasting relationship.
Avoiding these habits help to keep your relationship strong and healthy. Always remember that sustaining a relationship is not easy, and requires mutual and consistent efforts. Most importantly, always ask yourself if you are happy with the current situation you are in, because your happiness is the priority.
Cover Image: Powerofpositivity.com